Top Chef 5 Week 3 Live Blog

Amanda, Kay and Spencer are the only Thanksgiving orphans in town this week. And Spencer is officially on vacation, and didn’t even bring his computer over, so Kay and I will be your livebloggers this evening. Look for updates on commercial breaks.

Amanda: f to the r to the e to the e to the c to the… ok i’ll stop now
LIVEBLOG!
Kay: OMG
Maybe someone will use an obnoxious and stupid ingredient again this week.
Amanda: Preferably one they’ve never tasted or cooked with at all
Kay: Always a great idea.
Amanda: Spencer is recalling the terrible disaster that season 2’s upscale thanksgiving challenge was.
Kay: It just seems like a bad concept.
Amanda: no matter how much gourmand food you bring to the thanksgiving table, every dish still needs at least one stick of butter.
i proved this as my believe this past weekend at fauxgiving
Kay: Butter is essential.
Amanda: and i’ll stand by it
Fabio seems to be controlling an invisible puppet
Kay: Oh good. Maybe the two foreigners will tumble together again.
Ariane is giving herself the same pep talk she did at the beginning of the episode last week.
Amanda: I have a feeling they’re over-editing to make blondie look like more of a douche.
And, Richard, of team rainbow, just said that girl has a nice rack!
ooo, meta challenge!
Kay: Woo! Product placement! Ben has the Top Chef cookbook.
Amanda: put a spin on the quick fire recipe of…. a former top chef contestant
spencer just shouts, “FRENCHING BONES!”
“The Dildo Beach Club”
!?!?!?!
Kay: Since I haven’t seen previous seasons I feel like the significance of this Quickfire challenge is lost on me.
Amanda: RECORD SCRATCH
we’ve changed our minds — we want soup
Kay: Soup nazi!
Too old of a cultural reference?
Amanda: padma’s alleged extracurricular pot smoking just TOOK CONTROL OF THE QUICK FIRE
ah, product placement
i get it
Kay: So much of it
Amanda: spencer argues that black forest ham and egg is the soupiest flavor possible and daniel needs to stop his whining
i agree
i think all of these are soup-ready
Kay: That’s fair.
Amanda: Carla says: LOVE!
Kay: Carla LOVES soup. Remember the corn soup?
She will make lots of soups.
Amanda: Oh they picked the recipes for them. This makes sense why they all could translate to soup in my mind.
Kay: Dude on Team Rainbow’s soup looks like, um, liquid poo.
Amanda: Stefan’s dish: visually delicious
Kay: I kind of like Stefan
Amanda: Ariane rols her eyes!
Daniel’s ham & egg soup: yum
Kay: Oh snap on Fabio.
Amanda: WOO DC! Carla’s soup is liked “very much”
everybody’s all over the asparagus soup!
Kay: Carla always lands somewhere in the middle.
Amanda: I feel like there’s a voting rights or dc school system joke in there somewhere
LEAH FTW
nice racks and flirting lead to success
note to self
also, guest judge looks like ethan hawke in reality bites
Kay: He does!
Note on the Foo Fighters: they’re progressive. Okay, infomercial over. Back to your regularly scheduled Top Chef.
I can’t wait until later in the season when I can actually keep all these people straight.
Amanda: Yeah, 80% of this experience i shouting, “wait, who was that again?”
muppet just did a weird little dance
blonde muppet, not dc muppet
Kay: The Foo Fighters are just into everything.
Amanda: foo fighters are fussy eaters, who knew?
my friend mitchell has a crazy story about a friend of his breaking into dave grohl’s house once
Kay: … except everything on that list.
Amanda: Yeah Hosea, you may deal with vegetarians a lot, but, you also proclaim yourself to be a seafood chef and used canned crab.
Kay: Boulder is apparently like living in a regular city, where there are vegans and vegetarians.
Amanda: ha
They’re cooking… outside
with microwaves and no fridges or feezers
Kay: There’s a dispute over whether Padma said gig or game.
But what’s Thanksgiving without FOOTBALL?
Kay: Right Amanda?
Amanda: yeah… are they watching football with the foo fighters, or watching the foo fighters perform?
well, yes
what’s ANYTHING without football
but
one of those options makes a lot more sense than the other
Bravo must have bought unlimited rights to this Spoon song
wait…. this is a rip off “I turn my camera on”
what a rip off.
You can’t own music, Amanda.
Amanda: i said rip off twice.
i’m mad
Kay: It comes from the soul.
Fabio says things that don’t make sense. And the show goes on.
Amanda: DON’T STEAL FROM SPOON. They were really nice to me.
WHOA, he is hot for mommy
Kay: Team Cougar? Uh, ew.
Amanda: you said it friend.
Kay: Not that I don’t support the idea of the cougar.
Amanda: Are any of the ingredients they’re supposed to stay away from traditional thanksgiving stuff?
Kay: MORE PRODUCT PLACEMENT.
Amanda: smooch smooch from europe with love
Kay: Ariane says she’s been on the bottom a couple of times. There have only been two episodes.
Amanda: Eugene! He’s so clever. Building a smoker.
I really hate these stupid team names
Kay: Oh, they’re grilling pork.
Amanda: Confirmed: they’re seeing the Foo Fighters, not watching football with them
Kay: Somehow I think that watching football with them would be more fun.
Amanda: mashed potatoes: little effort, ticket to judge’s table
Kay: Oh good, Ariane is going to give the Foo Fighters undercooked turkey and food poisoning.
Amanda: It’s like raaaaaaaiiiiiiiaaaaaaiiiiin, on your outdoor food competition thanksgiving challenge
MICROWAVE: BAD
Kay: Oh no they’re going to microwave the potatoes.
BAD BAD BAD.
Amanda: Richard much more excited to see Collichio than Grohl
Kay: OMG Rock stars!!!
Amanda: roasted fig stuffing, sounds good
Kay: yum, mac and cheese WITH BACON??
Amanda: (as good as stuffing can sound to kay and i, the stuffing non-believers)
yes — bacon on anything is an improvement
bacon and butter
Kay: agreed
Amanda: MAPLE SMOKED PORK LOIN
brilliant
Kay: yes, the foo fighters will have to change their name to the Food Fighters.
Too cheesy?
Amanda: oh, they don’t like the figs
what do i know
Grohl disagrees with Yglesias: “My favorite was the turkey”
Kay: Just like to add: do not approve of team names.
Amanda: vegan stuffing gets high marks!
Kay: Oh I made a roasted corn salad once.
Amanda: cougars have better turkey than sexy pants
Kay: Dessert!
Amanda: god i hate these team names.
“roasted punkin” says fabio
Kay: I kind of wish I could’ve just eaten the desserts.
Amanda: “we’re doin sexy pants first”
Kay: hot
Amanda: tom digs fabio’s “punkin” tria misu
how do you spell that?
Amanda: taylor is picky as hell
uh oh
vanilla foam tastes like spit
Kay: oh no tiramisu
Amanda: says dave grol
Kay: Desserts = even
ok, they need to stop saying “sexy team”
Amanda: yes. please.
Kay: Foo Fighters don’t like desserts.
Must be why they’re so skinny.
Uh, “party underwear”?
ok
Amanda: Me: what’s his name again? Spencer: Dildo? Kay: Hair boy?
Jeff. We’re talking about Jeff. Jeff shows no emotion.
Amanda: Spencer – “Done! Done! On to the next one!”
Kay: Ok, announcing “sexy pants” won was just icky.
Eugene appropriately starts cursing and saying “team cougar” had better food.
Amanda: Seriously, blonde muppet girl’s dancing is… trying to think of a P.C. word to use…..
Jeff is blaming the rain!
Jeff is mili vanili!
Kay: Tom: Come up with a better excuse!
“where we failed was with execution” yeah … that’s generally what happens.
Amanda: See, Jeff is being classy
Kay: aw
Amanda: couldn’t ask for a better team
Kay: Mom can cook herself a turkey
so many gender stereotypes …
Amanda: al dente? potatoes? NO.
Kay: EW
Amanda: This is the same thinking that brought us that insane moustage.
Kay: Spencer busts out the accent again.
Wait, how do you fail at s’mores?
Amanda: I feel great about them. But apparently, according to Ethan Hawke, those weren’t smores. No burnt sugar.
Kay: “spit on a plate” harsh!
Amanda: If I am ever on top chef
which i never ever will be
i will just straight up never. ever. ever. EVER. make a dessert.
you ALWAYS get screwed on dessert
always
Kay: Carla’s cobbler wants me to eat Amanda’s
Amanda: yes it does! there is peach/cherry cobbler waiting for Kay and Spencer in my kitchen right now.
Kay: yum.
Amanda: Kay just giggled
at “there’s plenty of other htings you can do with bananas”
tell us about those things, Kay
Kay: There ARE plenty of things you can do with bananas/
Kay: I was just watching Weeds earlier today!
Amanda: IFA Poll: 2 say Jeff’s gone, 1 says Daniel.
Kay: This IFA Top Chef watching is lonely.
Amanda: We cannot keep Daniel and Richard straight. Even though they are nothing alike, whatsoever.
Kay: Those names are really common.
Amanda: If Jeff does go home, thanks to being team leader, it’ll be a shame. He showed class.
Spencer, by the way, has been mumbling a monologue in his new york accent for the past 15 minutes.
Kay: Spencer continues to talk to himself in an accent.
Annnnnnd cracks himself up.
Amanda: We learn: in new york state, that’s when you get ya workin papah’s.
Kay: And Whendy’s
Amanda: “People go to culinary school, whateva. i learned to cook at bagel boss.”
Eugene is safe. Thank goodness.
Kay: Eugene FTW.
DC Carla SAFE.
Amanda: Alex wins for least memorable contestant at the moment.
Mommy’s safe
Kay: Who is Alex?
Amanda: ha
Kay: She managed to cook something well for once!
Amanda: Good job, mommy
Kay: “cougar”
“The s’mores were really disappointing” that’s just sad.
Amanda: Awe, bye Richard
Kay: Well, eliminates a little confusion.
Amanda: I really liked him
he seemed so nice
Kay: Now there’s only one left on Team Rainbow.
Amanda: Only one member of team rainbow left!
This tearful goodbye is making me too sad
Next week: meredith vierra
NOOOOOO NOT ROCCO
Kay: Maybe there were a little premature with the t-shirts.
Amanda: That ends another week of Top Chef
Kay: peace out
Amanda: Mandy says (via text): “Systematically getting rid of team rainbow…. ON BRAVO.”

3 responses to “Top Chef 5 Week 3 Live Blog

  1. I just want to let you know that my mom and I are sitting here in Kansas City drinking wine and laughing heartily at you orphans. go team IFA!

  2. Pingback: Afteroon foodalude « The Internet Food Association

  3. It fed her every emotion, prodding her anger and settling an icy lacing on despair. With one last pat on Erikins arm, she left them to climb the staircase alone. She shook her head. They had fought about it too often for Eyrhaen not to know what he meant. His hands were comforting weights on her shoulders, helping her to ground. It was so different, this control. Gala caught Eyrhaen watching them and smiled. He cupped her chin, gazing into her eyes. To Eyrhaen, they all looked rather comfortable together in the domestic scene. It might not be enough, but it was a good enough start. Her lip curled, and she shoved at his chest. They all remained shirtless but wore boots now, and Brevin and Lanthan were lightly armed. She glared up at Tykir when he laughed. They didnt seem to mind. She closed her eyes and groaned, luxuriating under his weight. One hand braced on his breastbone, she lifted higher on her knees. Do you have time to come speak with me? But the look on your face tells me theres more. We arent exactly a monogamous society. He growled, a pleasant rumble against her breasts.

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