All Guts, All Glory

by Kriston Capps

turkey carnageConclusions drawn after playing Peta’s Cooking Mama spoof:

  • If only you got to pull out all the guts!

  • They really nailed the total lack of control from the Wii original
  • A Chinese butcher knife would make the beheading stage easier
  • Tofurkey is a horror. It looks like it might bounce a fork and knife. There are people in America who baste soy domes with soy sauce on Thanksgiving?
  • It would behoove Peta to decide whether they want people to stop eating turkey or Majesco Entertainment to make a game specifically for them

If you want to convince people to stop eating turkey, you’ve lost before you’ve started if you’re arguing that turkey is not pretty. Turkey is gorgeous. The reason that ham won’t suffice and braised turkey won’t do and sensible bacon applications don’t happen is because the Thanksgiving bird, roasted traditionally, comes out of the oven as a beautiful dinner centerpiece. People eat turkey because it looks awesome.

That, and for the re-created violence against those who share the earth with us. After all, Thanksgiving is about honoring tradition.

In the meantime, I look forward to the next wave of activist anime sims. Clean Energy Mama, in particular — thermo-depolymerization‘s gotta be a blast.

One response to “All Guts, All Glory

  1. Good points, but I take issue with your dismissal of ham. I prefer turkey at Thanksgiving, too, but ham is, if anything, even more visually impressive.

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