What Sort Of Parents Would Feed Cornmeal Mush To Their Children?

by Kriston Capps and Spencer Ackerman

Becks’ post cries out for a joint Flophouse response. We’re your friends, Becks, and we will help you through this.

First, to clarify matters, neither of us call the hot-buttered Grape Nuts disgusting. Spencer walked past you and Ficke eating that the other evening after we all saw Slumdog Millionare and said “huh.” Similarly, as we were watching Daredevil the following evening and saw you placing chips on your sandwich, we remarked how that was disappointing and unfortunate. But it’s not per se disgusting, and your point about texture is well-taken. Still, that shit wouldn’t fly in Texas or New York, and such is the standard we consider appropriate for the house.

Now, about disgusting cornmeal mush. There is of course a respected culinary tradition of putting stale bread to use by soaking it and cooking it — French toast being a fine example. This is not what you have done, Becks. If you will recall, you inspected your days-old cornmeal dish for mold (which was, in fact, blueberries) and then solved this apparent problem by dousing the questionable stuff in milk, alchemizing a mush that embarrasses the word “gruel.”

Yes, we live in a Flophouse. But this is going too far. Waste not, want not, but waste? Do not want.


3 responses to “What Sort Of Parents Would Feed Cornmeal Mush To Their Children?

  1. LOL, don’t you mean intra-flophouse disputes?

  2. Nah. Woulda been a problem if she added some fried Spam to the deal, but old not-moldy cornbread with nuts and berries sounds pretty good to me.

    Hell, I’d have even been willing to overlook a certain amount of mold…


  3. Texas and New York are a standard?

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