By Spencer Ackerman
I’m too disgusted to find a photo. Fuck it.
Does your office ever get holiday gift baskets filled with snacks from clients or whatever? Today the Center for Independent Media, the parent company of my Washington Independent overlords, got a token of esteem from what I think is our law firm. Lots of solid choices in the basket: Rice Krispie treats, assorted chocolates, a cinnamony cake that appears to be fresh-baked.
But there was something else. A collection of pecans dusted in what seemed to the untrained eye like Sugar In The Raw. Naturally I popped one into my mouth. If the death of a baby can be said to have a flavor, I’ve just discovered it. These pecans, it turns out, were coated in curry powder. Imagine a pecan doused in Old Bay. The flavors go to war with each other before it dawns on them that your mouth is the real enemy and they should team up and accept nothing less than total victory. I brushed my teeth vigorously. If you’ve ever got the urge to dust pecans in curry powder, drop the idea right now.