Glenny’s Soy Crisps May Not Be So Great, But What They Lack In Flavor They Make Up For By Enabling Self-Deception

By Spencer Ackerman

I think I’ve put on about 15 pounds between Halloween and today. I don’t own a scale in my house, so I’m not entirely sure, and the scale in my gym is one of those balance-y ones that I never use. Also I’ve sort of stopped going to the gym, even though I bring my gym bag with all my stuff to work with me every day. The point is my clothes are definitely tighter, my face is definitely doughier and my sense of despair is definitely higher. It was amidst that mental environment that I encountered Glenny’s Organic Soy Crisps.

As it gets colder out — and my God is it freezing today —  I’m less inclined to walk further and further from my office for my lunch, so it’s more and more the case that I’ll stop by the Universal Gourmet sandwich shop just outside the building for a chicken/tuna-salad-on-toasted-rye. The Universal Gourmet sandwich counter stocks an impressive display of chips, counting on the sure culinary bet that rare is the individual who desires a sandwich without something crunchy to accompany it. I mean Fritos, Doritos, Lays — no Utz’s, bizarrely — and SunChips. The later in the day you go, the more likely you are to find the shelving bare of your familiar chips, snatched up by those fortunate souls who didn’t have three and sometimes four blogs to feed before lunchtime.  Alone, forlorn and unloved, on those days, will be an assortment of Glenny’s Organic Soy Crisps.

I’ve now had the Cheddar flavor and the Sea Salt flavor. And they’re not bad. Solidly not bad. The flavor is reminiscent of a rice cake — the kind sold in every U.S. supermarket for 25 years, not the ultra-delicious Japanese kind —  and what you think of rice cakes will surely guide your appreciation for GOSC. Texturewise, they’re light and airy and leave a nice crunch, gone in three chews or so like a good chip will typically do. And they’re not heavy on added flavor: the cheddar ones are sort of dusted in cheese dust, which will end up on your fingers, and the sea-salt variety doesn’t contain much evidence of sea salt. I bought the latter kind today (and, if you must know, are eating them while I type this) and was hoping for a really salty snack. Alas.

But say this in their favor. They’ve only got 70 calories per serving in a two-serving bag. That’s about half as many as your typical Frito-Lays chip. Usually I just eat SunChips and convince myself they’re healthier. Now you can fool yourself with much greater justification that it’s totally ok to much away on chips with your lunch.


4 responses to “Glenny’s Soy Crisps May Not Be So Great, But What They Lack In Flavor They Make Up For By Enabling Self-Deception

  1. Baked Lays are about 140 calories a bag – isn’t that about the same? I’m not saying they’re gourmet; but they’re not horrible. Oddly BBQ flavor Baked Lays are 150 calories – so if you were ever asked the caloric content of BBQ chip flavor dust – 10 calories per bag of chips would be the answer.

  2. Oh, son. You’ll likely have to update this post after you try Glenny’s barbeque flavor and subsequently need to pick up the pieces of your blown mind.

  3. Organic George

    These things are full of chemically processed soy extracts. If you like hexane ,you gotta love this snack.

  4. If you are trying to loose weight or thinking about it give up the mayo sandwiches. The amount of mayo in tuna/chicken salad is large. Mayo is almost all fat.

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