Top Chef Liveblogging.

We’re rolling the finale part 1. This is Ezra. I’ll be your liveblogger for the evening. I’m also starting late — wonders of Tivo — so all timestamps are off.

10:12: Fabio has a faux-hawk. Carla has straight hair. Top Chef New Orleans is a world of madness. Also, gumbo.

10:13: Matt asks, “is America ready for a black Top Chef?”

10:14: Aren’t we supposed to have contempt for Emeril? Can someone explain the rules of being a foodie to me? (Also, Tommy thinks aged Emeril could have been an extra on the Sopranos.)

10:15: Fabio is in a faux-hawk and a pink scarf. Team Rainbow lives!

10:17: Leah, Jamie, and Jeffrey get to compete in a quickfire to reenter the competition! IFA is split on whether or not this is awesome. I believe it’s awesome. The challenge is a dish with crawfish.

10:19: IFA poll: 0 for Leah. 2 for Jeffrey. 10 for Jamie. Spencer and Miller object to the premise. Elimination challenges are, to them, sacred.

10:23: Emeril says everyone is a winner. But only one of them will win. This is sort of like the Special Olympics. Commercial break!

10:24: Jeff wins! But in order to continue on to the finale, he has to win today’s challenge. Can’t simply not lose. Top Chef is getting a bit Calvinball-ish.

10:26: Fabio keeps saying he needs money to care for his sick mother. I’m pretty sure Italy has a universal health care system. Going to have to look into this later.

10:35: They’re certainly selling a Stefan overconfidence story. He’s using sausage from the freezer and wandering out for a smoke. On the other hand, these are Emeril’s sausages. Presumably they’re pretty good.

10:37: I like Real Talk with Tom Collichio. Let’s make that a regular feature. Also, why is Carla making a dish that requires shucking oysters if she doesn’t know how to shuck oysters? It’s not like she pulled this dish out of a knife block.

10:40: Gayle!

10:49: Emeril says Fabio needs some “heat.” I think he means he needs to kick it up a notch.

10:52: Jeffrey is overstating his own agency.

10:56: Are we looking at a finale without Stefan? Or just some fuck you editing from the Top Chef producers?

11:03: How strange that the closer a chef was to New Orleans’ food, the better a chef did. Weird! Bet Stefan would own a Helsinki challenge, though.

11:12: Carla wins! What’s up DC!

11:14: And Fabio loses. Which means his mother probably dies. Top Chef is cold, yo. But we all look forward to his inevitable cooking show!

21 responses to “Top Chef Liveblogging.

  1. Since they were teasing the double elimination already, does that mean Jeff wins??

  2. bad spoiler if so!

  3. (not you, the teaser.)

  4. No kidding! Or were they just saying a double elimination because Jeff doesn’t win and he has to go home?

  5. Maybe that’s it; they eliminate two, but Jeff has to win not to be one of those two automatically.

  6. Two things: did you guys notice that Steffan has gained a noticeable amount of weight and I finally noticed that Jeff is a hottie.

  7. I think Fabio is going home as of now. Still, it is exciting to see that all the chefs seemingly did a good job.

  8. Also, am I the only one who finds Hosea totally insufferable. The combination of his bizarre fixation/obsession with Steffan, his general doucheness, and his anti-European xenophobia is too much to handle.

  9. Hosea’s a pain. I don’t know how you missed that Jeff/Chase is a hottie, though.

  10. I am worried that Steffan is going home. He really needs to be in the final.

  11. OK, Carla wins, Jeff goes home, Fabio goes home (although this might just be my pro-Steffan bias)

  12. I am too…I think Stefan needs to go mostly because he’s been a strong presence the entire season.

  13. It seems like they are leaning towards Jeff or Carla to win it and will they give it to Jeff so he can stay?

  14. Woo! Thank god. Also, am I the only one who appreciates a little man love?

  15. I can’t believe Carla’s been in it this long. Good for her.

  16. Top Chef has righted the ship.

  17. Seconding db’s comment. This was the best episode in a fair while because, in large part, they all made good food (and Leah’s appearance was mercifully brief). I think it’ll be a good finale.

  18. My wife pointed this out to me first. Since they had to go and play calvinball for this episode, they end up with Stefan going to the finale after phoning it in since the Superbowl episode. I’m wondering if he’s too big to fail. I mean seriously, all the judges loved Jeff and Carla. But Jeff winning means Stefan had to go.

    Now I’m really hoping that Hosea / Stefan have yet another pissing match for the finale and Carla ignores them and wins.

  19. ^ hahaha Stefan “too big to fail.”

    Actually, if you read Colicchio’s blog at Bravo’s website, Jeff’s dish wasn’t as good as it appeared to be on TV:

    That night, however, Jeff was never in the running for a reason that didn’t make it into the final edit. He did a very fine job, however he used some sort of sterno chafing dish to keep his oysters warm that, for whatever reason, imparted a taste of burning sterno to the oysters. We all smelled it and remarked on it while the chefs were setting up their stations, and then we tasted that horrible taste when we sampled his selections. So, unfortunately for Jeff, who otherwise was cooking very well, he could never have taken the top spot of the evening.

  20. I don’t know about “too big to fail”, but he seems to be too obviously a competent chef to cut from the show before the finale. Looking like the “top chef” all throughout and then not making the final would kind of hurt the show’s credibility.

  21. Pingback: What’s Next For Fabio? « The Internet Food Association

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