If You Have To Eat Breakfast At All, Why Bother With Carbohydrates?

By Spencer Ackerman

Allow me to second both Kate‘s antipathy to sugar cereals and Ezra‘s endorsement of savory breakfasts and go a step further. What you need for productive morning bloggery is caffeine and protein. (I used to add Taurine to that potent mixture, but I’ve been Red Bull-free for a few months now.) I have nothing against carbohydrates in principle, but I tend to find that when I need to get a lot of shit done early, they’re counterproductive — weighing me down physically and whispering into my ear that I should make time for a nap. Better to crack an egg on a hot surface, accompany it with some breakfast meat and, if you have the time that none of us actually have, put together a salad as an easy-on-the-heart accompaniment. Failing that, fruit and yogurt make a good team.

The objections — they’re so many, and easily anticipated. I’m on the go, dammit, you say, not some fat-of-the-land blogger with the luxury of working from home. How do I eat an egg in my car or on the bus or train without a carbohydrate-laden vehicle? It’s a fair point. But I’m not here to solve your problems as much as I’m here to problemitize your solutions. Egg sandwiches are lovely things, but you don’t want your English muffin to overpower your egg. Might you consider piling two eggs, prepared to your liking, between muffins? Of course, I may be cranky/tired from the burger I ate at 11:30 that serves as both my breakfast and my lunch.  There’s actually nothing wrong with egg sandwiches.


5 responses to “If You Have To Eat Breakfast At All, Why Bother With Carbohydrates?

  1. Three words: Hard Boiled Eggs

    They travel well and combined with a yogurt make a great office breakfast! I’m with ya on the no carbs/savory in the morning too.

  2. Pingback: From the Internet « HANNAH BW

  3. I try to avoid many carbs at breakfast AND lunch for this very reason – it brings down my mood at work.

    The on-the-go objection is pure laziness.

    My morning routine is the following:
    -Scramble 3 eggs with heavy whipping cream over low heat.
    -Fry 2 strips of bacon
    -Grind and brew a thermos of coffee in the french press
    -Eat eggs/bacon.
    -Pour coffee into thermos
    -Wash pan, dishes, coffee press
    -Grab banana or apple on way out
    -Grab handful of almonds and string cheese for mid-morning snack.

    Total time between leaving the shower and out the door with coffee, fruit, and mid-morning snack in hand is less than 20 minutes. 2o minutes and probably about $1.50 gets me a better-tasting and healthier breakfast than most of my colleagues. When I used to eat more carbs I did toast, grits or oatmeal instead of bacon.

    Now, I don’t have kids, but when I visited my mom and school-age siblings last week, it wasn’t hard to adapt this to a 30 minute process that feeds 4 people (myself included) before everyone goes to work/school.

  4. Good advice here. I do a weekend breakfast sammich, two strips of bacon, two eggs over easy on an english muffin. Yee hah, that’s good. The yolks break and if you carefully spin the sammich around and catch all the wonderful yellow goo, you’ve got something sublime.

    With a lifetime of bad habits as my history, I don’t eat breakfast on weekdays.

    But if I did I’d…

    Never mind. I just grossed myself out…


  5. Breakfast pizza. Dressed greens, grated parm, bacon chopped, or pancetta, and a poached or fried egg over top. Not so on the go, but not that hard either.

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