I have had the future of pizza and it is not good

by Ben Miller

Ezra hasn’t cross posted it yet, but earlier today he wrote about the pizza vending machine that the New York Times mentioned back in March. Basically, the vending machine makes a pizza from scratch–dough kneading included–and then even heats it up for the customer.

I can’t speak to Ezra’s questions about how the dough is made without resting, besides to say that I have heard you can refrigerate/freeze pizza dough and then get a pizza-ish creation that just doesn’t rise quite as much when you cook it. But, I can speak to the taste of vending machine pizza.

Around my sophmore year of college, a Massachusetts-based company acquired the rights to import a similarly giant red pizza vending machine with an equally silly name. WonderPizza as it was known would also produce a vending machine pizza in minutes, though the only options at the time were plain, pepperoni, and possibly vegetable.

In some respects, the WonderPizza was kind of impressive. It did not come out feeling it was a microwaved Celeste pizza for one. But it did have an odd metallic aftertaste, kind of like if you’ve ever tasted the blood from a cut in your mouth. Needless, the sensation of eating metallic mediocre pizza is not one that I would endorse for future pizza production efforts.

It turns out that even college students couldn’t get behind the WonderPizza–it hung around for a year or so before disappearing.


One response to “I have had the future of pizza and it is not good

  1. Just a note, my girlfriend and I make homemade pizza every week and have for more than a year and freezing pizza dough works incredibly well. You just make a big batch, let it rise and then put pizza sized chunks of dough in ziplock bags and freeze them. Then, there are two different methods for defrosting that I have used and both work well. The first is to, in the morning, put the dough in a baking pan or one sort or another with enough oil so that it won’t stick. This should then be either left out all day or, if the dough isn’t rising enough then, put it in the oven after preheating to warm, then turn the oven off while leaving the dough in for the whole day until it is time to preheat the over. The second method, which I find to be better, is to put the ziplock bag of dough in the fridge the night before you want to make the pizza. Then, simply take the dough out of the fridge and place on a floured surface for two hours.

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