By Spencer Ackerman
You’ve seen those ads for the Black Taco from Taco Bell? They’re good enough at marketing to convince me — someone who has nothing to do with Taco Bell unless I’m contemplating its combination with Pizza Hut on Jamaica Avenue in an absurdist and momentarily-amusing way — to try one. Mistake.
This weekend I found myself out in Northern Virginia for mysterious professional reasons, a trip that took me, too early in the day, to a mall food court. The person I was there to meet wanted some Taco Bell. I figured, what the hell, let’s try the Black Taco. Sure, it’s just a taco in a blue-corn shell. But the advertising, as I say, worked.
Maybe it’s because I am no longer the vegan hardcore kid who wandered into northern New Jersey in search of blastbeats and mosh parts, sating his hunger with the soft bean tacos, awash in fire sauce. Maybe it’s because I am now increasingly a food snob. But that is one bland, flavorless taco. The shell does not even taste of blue corn. The cheese is probably oil-based. Ugh, never again.