Black Is The Light That Shines On My Path; Black Is The Color Of A Bland Taco

By Spencer Ackerman

You’ve seen those ads for the Black Taco from Taco Bell? They’re good enough at marketing to convince me — someone who has nothing to do with Taco Bell unless I’m contemplating its combination with Pizza Hut on Jamaica Avenue in an absurdist and momentarily-amusing way — to try one. Mistake.

This weekend I found myself out in Northern Virginia for mysterious professional reasons, a trip that took me, too early in the day, to a mall food court. The person I was there to meet wanted some Taco Bell. I figured, what the hell, let’s try the Black Taco. Sure, it’s just a taco in a blue-corn shell. But the advertising, as I say, worked.

Maybe it’s because I am no longer the vegan hardcore kid who wandered into northern New Jersey in search of blastbeats and mosh parts, sating his hunger with the soft bean tacos, awash in fire sauce. Maybe it’s because I am now increasingly a food snob. But that is one bland, flavorless taco. The shell does not even taste of blue corn. The cheese is probably oil-based. Ugh, never again.

9 responses to “Black Is The Light That Shines On My Path; Black Is The Color Of A Bland Taco

  1. I’m not surprised. It’s sad there’s no good fast food in malls or airports or Interstate highway rest stops. I’ve heard some good things about the Chipotle’s chain. Has anyone out there ever eaten at one?

  2. i havent seen those commercials.
    but a taco with very dark mole sauce or black beans might have been more persuasive.
    sorry that you were disappointed.

  3. I’ve always told myself that I’ll know my food snobbery has gone too far when Taco Bell stops being absolutely fucking awesome.

    Step back from the edge.

  4. Chipotle is fairly good, as these things go. At the very least, their food is usually fresh and you can get some decent sauces.

    If I have to eat fast food, I’d rather it was someplace like Chipotle, Noodles and Co., or Baja Fresh, where I can recognize the ingredients and feel sure they haven’t been frozen for six months.

  5. No knowledge of Chipotle! The mind boggles. It is, indeed, pretty good — their guacamole brings all of their offerings up a level. And, unlike Baja Fresh, you can easily get a (gigantic) meal for less than ten bucks.

  6. Thank you so much for linking Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell. I went to college with those guys and they are both hilarious and surprisingly talented on the rare occasions when they are taking things seriously.

  7. Does anyone stay vegan and/or straight-edge? Do those kids know how good pecorino is?

  8. Pingback: Taco Bell: A Retrospective « The Internet Food Association

  9. Wow. interntefoodassociation.com is my favorite site.

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