By Spencer Ackerman
The harmony of this blog was interrupted last year by Thanksgiving discord, as Yglesias and I took the proper anti-turkey position and Miller good-naturedly but mistakenly defended tradition. Choire Sicha’s instructions for barbecuing a turkey — reminiscent as they are of Kriston Capps’ penchant for smoking the bird — are almost enough to convert me. There is, however, this generous concession:
Shove the thing on the table. Let it sit there smoldering for 20 minutes. Make someone cut it. The outermost inch of the turkey will taste like BACON. It will taste like eating a wood fire—go figure! It will be like biting down on the forests of Chernobyl. You will pretty much regret ever having done this.
Turkey. It just shouldn’t be consumed.